They say that one of the most stressful things you can do in life is to get married. So it’s no surprise that the time period before saying ‘yes’ and saying ‘I do’ will be a bit of a struggle between the two of you. Planning a wedding involves a lot of juggling, money saving, and tricky decisions, not to mention compromise. Try these tips and hints to keep your head and save your relationship through your wedding planning phase.

Share fun ideas before the serious planning begins

Before you get down to color palettes and cake designs, have some fun together. A lot of people have been dreaming about their wedding for many years, so why not have a brainstorm together and see what wedding ideas you have in common? You should also allow each other to veto any suggestions you don’t like. This means that you will begin your wedding planning with a pretty good idea of what you both want out of your big day, without all of the tiny little details – they come later. Keep this light and easy.

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Be nice!

Seriously! If you both find yourself being petty with each other, just try being nice. Instead of nagging your other half about something they need to do, ask them how far along they are with it, and if they would like some help. Starting with a nagging tone creates a negative mood, just as starting with a nice tone creates a positive mood. You’re both working towards the same goal, here.

Don’t forget your relationship

Nobody wants to become a bride- or groom-zilla. Don’t become so bogged down in wedding planning that you put your relationship on the shelf. That is the fastest way to get stressed and become unhappy. Set aside wedding-free days; go out for dinner together, have a cinema date, or just chill at home. Make time for yourselves as well as for the wedding.

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Don’t over-expect

If you’re a bride-to-be, it is more than likely you will complain at some point about the involvement of your man. Weddings are important to the men, but let’s face it – the dress, the cake, the color palette, and flower arrangements – a lot of the decisions are more bride-centric. Focus on what he is doing, not what he isn’t, because more often than not you may be over-expecting things from him.

Communicate

If you feel you aren’t over-expecting, or you have other issues, then talking to each other plainly is often the best way to resolve issues. Why doesn’t he care about the guest list? How can you compromise on the music? Refer back to your pre-planning ideas and make sure you are sticking to your agreements.

 

two people chatting on a bedPhoto credit: Glamour.com

Talk to friends who were married recently

People who were married a long time ago probably see their wedding planning stage through rose-tinted glasses, but if you have friends who still remember that time with clarity, ask for their advice. No doubt they will have made mistakes and regrets that they can reflect on, and give you some helpful dos and don’ts.

Get a second opinion

If there is something the two of you really can’t agree on, appoint a fair and objective third party who can give you an unbiased opinion. Whether it’s how much should be spent on the wedding dress, or how many guests is too many guests, you should agree that whoever your appointed judge concurs with gets their way.

Keep calm and follow these tips for the run-up to your wedding; don’t forget that the bottom line is to communicate.

Header photo credit: Sara Jean Photography