Wedding planning is a time for every bride to connect with her mom, but this doesn’t mean it’s always easy or straightforward. There are many different type of mother-daughter relationships, and many different types of moms to include in the process, while trying to keep everybody else happy too. Phew! Here are some ways to include every type of mom in your wedding planning.
Traditional or religious mom
Maybe you prefer to do away with the traditions of weddings that just don’t sit well with you, but your mom is quite the opposite. At the end of the day, your mom knows it’s your wedding and isn’t going to be unreasonable, so meet her halfway. Pick one or two features that are traditional or religious that mean a lot to her. Discuss with your partner ways to incorporate them into your day that you will both be happy with. This doesn’t have to be something as grand as a big church wedding or heavily-religious vows. Ask your mom to read a religious text at the ceremony, or ask for something ‘borrowed’ to wear.
Photo credit: Fiona’s Wedding Photography
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There are many different dynamics when it comes to step-moms and step-daughters, so if you want to include a special moment with yours, schedule in some photo time with her. Take 10-20 minutes with just the two of you sharing a special moment in front of the camera. You will be able to cherish these memories forever.
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Perhaps your mom has far too many ideas for your big day, and you would like to tone it down a little. The biggest mistake you could make here is to not include her. Make lots of plans with your mom; dress shopping just the two of you, picking out color schemes, or a craft night for invitations and save-the-dates. Be specific and clear about what you like and what you don’t, but make her opinion feel wanted. It’s also important to set boundaries here. If you give your mom plenty of say, but be clear on private decisions, your wedding planning will be a lot easier.
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An organized mom is gift for your wedding! Although she might drive you a little crazy sometimes, she is the drive that you need so take advantage of her. Pencil in one night a week to go over your wedding schedule, to make sure you are on task. Make up a milestone list together, with deadlines for each activity. It’s also a good idea to put her in charge of calling vendors, checking prices, and keeping on top of their schedules, too.
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A mom connected to her roots
While you grew up in the US, maybe your mom didn’t. It’s more than likely her heritage is very important to her, and should be important to you too. Research or discuss with her parts of her country’s traditions and see what you can incorporate to celebrate both cultures. You could pick a cool henna for the both of you for Indian roots, a rosemary wreath as a nod to a Czech mom, or embrace a shoe-signing Turkish tradition.
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A mom in your memories
If your mom isn’t here to see your big day, you will still want her to be present. Carry her with you as a photograph in a locket around your neck. Alternatively, take a swatch of her wedding dress; have it sewn into your dress, or use it as your bouquet fabric secured with a pin of hers. As well as being mentioned in speeches, she will be a part of your important day.
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Banner photo: Huffington Post