Unless you’re in the lucky minority, it is highly likely you will have to deal – and get along – with some of the least helpful wedding planner helpers you can imagine. Not only do you have your own mother to contend with, now someone else’s? Stereotypical as it may be, interfering mother-in-laws, difficult mothers, and stubborn bridesmaids do exist. So how do you stop them from boiling your blood and ruining your wedding planning?

Include them

When it comes to pushy helpers, it may seem counter-intuitive to actually include them when all you want to do is slap duct tape across their mouths and lock them in a cupboard. Now, that wouldn’t solve anything would it? If what they want is to be included in the wedding planning, then give them what they want…sort of. Start out with small decisions that have already been partly made, like a choice between flowers you have narrowed down to three. Make them feel like their opinion really counts and you want them involved.

Set aside wedding planning time together

Of course, starting with small decisions will only whet their appetite, and they will soon want more. Organize time for the two of you to sit down and go over details you perhaps don’t like doing anyway, like seating arrangements and getting prices from vendors. These tasks are time-consuming and a little tedious, so an extra pair of hands is always helpful. They will also feel super important, too.

lisa hubbard place settingPhoto credit: Lisa Hubbard

Shop for their outfit together

Whether it’s a bridesmaid dress you are paying for or a mother-in-law getting her own outfit, create a time for shopping together for her. When you go shopping for your own wedding dress, it makes it extra special to have people react when you step out, so do the same for her. She will feel like a total princess and certainly enjoy the quality time together.


Don’t leave your helpers in the dark, as they will resort to endless phone calls and ‘drop bys’ to see what’s going on. Keep them in the loop and communicate with them. If they are asking to help more, remind them of your pre-arranged wedding planning time together – you’re too busy to fit in extra time, sorry!

the knot bride motherPhoto credit: The Knot

Designate tasks

If you have complete faith in your helper – i.e. they’re not color blind with zero taste and terrible organization skills – take a deep breath and designate one big (or biggish) task for them to do. Biggish tasks can include picking up the cake or taking care of the guest book. Much bigger tasks, depending on their role in the wedding, can be the responsibility of the bachelorette party or rehearsal dinner. Just how much do you trust them?

Pamper dates

This should be fun for everyone. Arrange a pamper date for the bridal party, female relatives, and any extra helpers that want to get in on the fun. You can relax, feel refreshed, and take part in some female bonding. Many birds with one stone.

park row hairPhoto credit: Park Row Hair and Beauty

getting along

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